For the Dallas Cowboys, being the most loved and simultaneously, the most hated franchise in the NFL is surely a blessing and a curse. It doesn’t help matters that Cowboys fans rally behind their guys in blue and white with an almost cult like zeal. Having lived in Dallas most of my life with stints in other parts of the country, one thing has become clear… people really hate Cowboys fans. So in honor of the tens of thousands, nay millions, of Cowboys dissenters in the world here are the best (and/or most annoying) Cowboys’ fan phrases.
1. “How Bout ‘Em?”
I’ll say it once, in the loud manner it is always asked in: HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS?! Virtually a trademark phrase, this is the question that will get asked when there is an awkward silence amongst a crowd. If you hate the Cowboys, you cringe when you hear this, and most will almost lose their minds and respond with something on the lines of “4-12 and still bad”, or “still 20+ years removed from their last Super Bowl”. The fact of the matter is, fans have this submerged in their database of word-vomit (yes, I quoted Mean Girls), that sometimes they can’t help themselves. Dez actually stays healthy? How bout ‘em? Cowboys win a game? How bout ‘em? Sean Lee stays healthy? Sheesh, how bout ‘em? The endless amounts of reasons to say this makes Cowboys haters rue the day they ever made friends with a Cowboys fan.
2. “America’s Team”
This one actually doesn’t make sense to me, and honestly anti-Dallas nation needs to grab some wood, build a bridge and get over it. The Cowboys are America’s team, just like baseball is America’s pastime. Are these concepts a little outdated and maybe not the best reflection of today’s society? Possibly. However, you can’t change the fact on any of these ideologies, so stop pushing for it. I get it; they aren’t the Patriots, who symbolize much more as what it is to be an American. Nonetheless, Dallas is the most valuable franchise in all of sports, is the most loved and hated team in football, and has arguably the most successful resume on the gridiron (five Super Bowls, eight appearances). Dallas just does everything bigger and better, including a $1.8 Billion dollar practice facility complex. What’s more American than that?
3. “Cowboys are Winning it All This Year”
While writing this article, this exact phrase from a wishful fan came across my Twitter feed. Whether it is delusional or not, every Cowboys fan can’t help but believe it, just like most fans do for their respective teams. However, in Dallas, it’s almost your civic duty to publicly acknowledge the boys as your ‘Super Bowl favorites’. Being a native to the city, when people ask who I’m picking to win it all, my response is “which pick do you want, my Cowboys pick or my actual pick?” Unfortunately, some years they are the same, because the inner fan cannot resist.
Anyone with two eyes and a brain can discern what a catch is and is not in football. Flash back to the divisional round of the 2014 playoffs, when the Cowboys had a 4th and two with just over two minutes left against the Green Bay Packers. Tony Romo threw a beautiful lob for Dez Bryant to grab. Dez went Randy Moss on the Packers defender as he lunged for the end zone. Little did we know, the ball moved just a little while still in his possession that it “may or may not have” hit the ground. The refs ruled it incomplete, and two years later Dallas fans still can’t get over the heartbreak. Was it a catch? Absolutely. Does anyone outside of Dallas care? Not a chance. Yet two years later we still hear about the catch that wasn’t…that was.
5. “I miss the days in the 90s with the Big 3”
The best part about this quote is that a lot of the time the people saying this weren’t even born until the end of the 90s, when the Cowboys’ dynasty was over. I compare this to men who still talk about their glory days in high school to their teenage kids and their friends. Were they great in the past? Absolutely. Do people care? Nope. No one likes to hear about someone’s past all of the time, especially when they’re the dad with a beer gut who hasn’t thrown a football in 20 years. The same goes for football fans that have to listen to a Cowboys fan bark about how good they used to be. It’s laughable to some people, and even sadder to others.
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