In part two of her interview, Feely shares her advice to young NFL wives, her secret to a strong marriage, and the passion that helps make her a healthy and happy mom.
THE INTERVIEW CONTINUED
Kim Anthony – You are now considered a veteran wife…
Rebecca Feely – Yeah, I’m an old timer! (Laughs)
KA – I didn’t want to say that! But, how do you use your years of experience in the NFL to influence the younger wives and girlfriends who are coming through?
RF – This year at Bible study…a lot of them were younger. It was interesting to sit back and hear the wives say different things about being stressed and moving. “We want a new contract and we’re not getting that.”… all this stuff…I’m thinking I’ve been there so many times. Even people crying about the type of car they’re driving, you know? Just silly things and realizing that’s not what life’s about. My message to them is just hold on loosely and sometimes what you think is the worse situation ends up being the best. God doesn’t promise us an easy life, He doesn’t promise we’ll get what we want, but He promises that He’ll walk with us. So I encourage them to look at the situation from His eyes not from (their own). Don’t hold on to a house or cars or whatever your thing is. Hold on loosely and don’t make it hard for God to pry your hands open to give you something bigger or better.
All I wanted for many years were a little pair of diamond earrings. I’m not really into jewelry so I told Jay, “Just a little pair of diamond earrings is all I want. I can hand them down to the girls some day.” Seven or eight years into our marriage, I finally got a little pair of diamond earrings for Christmas and the dumb things drove me crazy! I was nervous I was going to lose them. We had kids at the time and I was afraid to wear them. These dumb earrings ended up owning me instead of me owning them. I put them in a box in a drawer. I thought that if I had a pair of diamond earrings it would make me happy. But things don’t make you happy.
These girls who are obsessed with these shoes and I’m thinking, honey, I shop at Target and I have some Target shoes that are the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever had in my life. So you go ahead and spend $1,000 on your pair of whatever they are. Not to judge them, because we’re all in different places in our walks. I just try to encourage them to see beyond where they are now. You
are who you associate with.
– The NFL life can wreak havoc on marriages. What do you feel is your biggest weapon in the fight to keep your marriage strong in the midst of this unfavorable environment? KA
RF – Our biggest weapon is definitely who we choose to be acquaintances with. Definitely having some people outside of the NFL who are marriage role models to us; someone you call to say, “Here’s what we’re going through. Please give us an unbiased perspective.” Jay and I have been very open that we’ve gone to marriage counseling when we’ve hit rough spots. We’ll go and work things out. I would rather us sit in and mediate whatever issues are bothering us than to hold any bitterness against each other. We are always trying to get better as a couple, as parents, and be positive influences on other people.
KA – Do you feel your faith has something to do with the fact that you are still together after 12 moves…?
RF – Oh, a hundred percent! …That (our faith), and holding on loosely; knowing some day he won’t have a job where he makes millions a year. We’re prepared for that. If I shop at Target now, I can still shop at Target later. But if I refuse to go to certain places or if I only bought the finest…there’s no way you can uphold that lifestyle when you’re done. So many players struggle for post football careers, finding jobs and stability. So many divorces happen because your ego is what drives you. If you do it the right way when you’re in it then the transition is easy.
Over the past couple of years Rebecca Feely has been passionate about the over-all health and fitness of her family. This came as a result of her dealing with a number of serious health issues. She has cleaned up her family’s diet and has gone from being a person who could not even run a mile to running three half-marathons and three sprint-triathlons. Might I add, Feely took the initiative to learn how to swim by watching YouTube videos.
The way she uses her passion to help others include presenting healthy cooking seminars for “House of Refuge” in Mesa, Arizona, and doing a healthy living blog on
www.RebeccaFeely.com. If you are, or know a mom who is in need of tips on staying healthy and happy in all areas of life as a busy mom, this is the site to visit!
REBECCA’S ADVICE FOR MOMS
Rebecca believes, “It’s so important as a mother to teach your kids a healthy lifestyle because you want them to be able to be effective in their calling too. If you’re not healthy, everyone around you suffers.”
Feely also encourages
everyone to follow the advice of her favorite verse, Proverbs 3:5-6:
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
Kim Anthony can be contacted through
www.KimAnthony.net or on Twitter @RealKimAnthony.